My Childhood Friend Is An Archmage Chapter 96
Translated by d6y (ko-fi)
Chapter 96
Lancer came to the Kaerun Duchy about an hour later.
"Skyla." Arriving at my room, Lancer calls out to me as he stands in the doorway.
I sit cross-legged on the couch, arms folded, and stare at him.
"What are you doing there?"
"...Can I come in?"
He's asking weird questions. "You're asking the obvious, come on in."
Lancer steps over the threshold and into my room.
Sitting down on the couch across from me, Lancer seems uncharacteristically awkward. The way he had smiled at me yesterday felt so alien.
I tried to talk to him as normally as I could, as if nothing had happened.
"Why are you so late?"
"...Huh?"
Lancer is puzzled, and so am I. It's only after I have asked him that I realise how interrogative I sound.
"Well, I mean, you usually come within ten minutes of me calling you, so why did it take you so long today? It's just that I was just wondering why it took you unusually long. I was only curious…."
I blurt out, and at the same time, a pang of frustration hits me as I realise I'm making excuses for myself.
This isn't it….
Why don't I have the ability to say things nicely? My unintentionally harsh tone makes the atmosphere awkward.
It's weird.
We certainly didn't give any indication that we were arguing in front of others. Lancer smiled at me as he usually did, and I talked to him as I always did.
But now that we're alone, there's an awkwardness in the air.
Although we're not speaking to each other, we're thinking the same thing: about the argument we had a few days ago, and the way we left.
I want to apologise. I want to say the words I've been rehearsing in my head over and over again for days.
Lancer, I must admit I lost my temper at the time. I was hurt to hear you say so easily that you would die with me, and I yelled at you. I've realised now I shouldn't have. I'm so sorry.
I want to say that, but my lips aren't opening as easily.
'I'm sorry', that's all I need to say.
Those words aren't hard to pronounce. They're not that long, nor are they a forbidden expression.
But they won't come out just like that.
I feel so stupid. How in the world am I supposed to inherit the title of Duke of Kaerun when I can't even say two words?
I stay silent, my lips pressed to a thin line.
"...I came by carriage today." After a while, Lancer breaks the silence.
"A carriage?”
"Yes. It's easy to just teleport, but you told me yesterday not to use it often. It took me a while to get ready for my first carriage ride after a long time."
Ah.
I recall yesterday's moment. The Crown Prince was wary of Lancer's abilities, so to defuse the situation, I told him to use the stairs instead of magic.
"You don't have to do that when you come to see me in the future."
"But...." Lancer hesitates, his words trailing off. Then, as if he has made up his mind, he speaks again. "You said you'd give me six minutes of your time if I didn't use magic. I want those six minutes."
It takes me a moment to understand what he means.
After Lancer says using magic saves him a second of the day and allows him to see me six minutes more per year, I replied, "I could just give you those six minutes."
"...If I give you six minutes of my time, what are you going to do with it?" I ask after a moment of silence.
"I just want to see you. I don't care what you're doing, I just want to see you, Skyla."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I chuckle at his reply. "What if I'm sleeping? Are you just going to watch me sleep?"
"Yes." Lancer nods, his face serious. "If you're working, I'll just stand in the corner and watch you work. If you're eating, I'll watch you eat from a distance and then leave. I don't care what you're doing, as long as I can see you, I'm okay."
Okay, now what does this mean? Seriously.
"You don't mind if I don't hang out with you?" I tease. He nods again, this time with a smile.
"I guess I'm fine with it, Skyla, as long as I can see that you can live in peace without me."
"What do you mean?" I ask, confused by his sudden words.
The colour drains from Lancer's face. A complete contrast from the smile from before.
"I went home and thought about why you were so angry with me the other day, Skyla." His lips are pursed tightly, and then he says slowly.
The corners of his eyes are red. They look like they can burst into tears at any moment.
He stares blankly into the distance, refusing to make eye contact with me. "I imagined it. What if I asked you the same thing, what would you do if I were to die? And what if you responded with the same thing, that you would follow after me?”
Lancer clenches his fist in his lap. His voice stutters, like something has caught in his throat. "If that happens… I don’t… I don't want you to die, Skyla."
"Lancer...."
"If I die and you become so sad that you die with me… then I'd rather have you not like me, no, I'd rather you hated me."
"...."
"I want you to hate me more than anything. I want you to curse and hate me for the rest of your life…. So when I die, you can rejoice and not be sad."
"...." As I listen to Lancer, I can't say anything.
For a moment, I feel like I'm trapped in ice. I can't breathe properly. Like my throat is full of sand.
Biting his lip, Lancer continues after a pause. "Of course, being hated by you would be very painful…, but if I die and you live a long and happy life, then I'm okay with that."
"...Why are you being so extreme?" I mutter.
Lancer lowers his gaze. "Skyla…. do you remember what you said to me the other day? About me not liking you."
"Yeah, I do."
"I didn't know what you were talking about then." There was a pause, and then Lancer spoke in a whisper. "I thought I knew for sure that I liked you, because wherever you were, I would always want to be with you, and whatever you were doing, I always wanted to be by your side."
Lancer sighs, taking a moment to catch his breath.
"But I guess I was wrong."
The corners of Lancer's eyes are more red. He looks like he can burst into tears at any moment if he doesn't control himself.
“....”
I stare at him, speechless.
I want to run to his side right away, to put my arm around him and reassure him that it's okay.
But I don't.
I can only stare at him, frozen in place. I can't understand what he was trying to tell me.
“I was wrong.”
What did he mean by that? And he liked me? He wanted to be with me all the time?
Only the ticking of the clock's hands is present between us. There's no other noise. The room is as silent as winter.
It's not until a while later that Lancer says in a trembling voice. "But then I had a strange feeling yesterday when I saw you watching the play with the Crown Prince."
"How?"
"Come to think of it, I've never seen you spend time with other people without me."
"Is it weird… to see that?"
"I suppose not… but I think I was mistaken."
A small laugh escapes Lancer. It's not the kind of laugh that comes from being amused by the situation, but the kind that comes from not knowing how to react in the situation.
"You're right, Skyla, my world is too small. Wherever I am, there's always been you, and wherever you are, there's always been me. I can't imagine any other world, and it's selfish of me to think that."
"...."
"When I'm with you, I feel good. So I thought you should always be by my side. But now that I realise, you never had to."
Lancer finally smiles. It's not as sweet as he usually does.
"You don't belong to me, Skyla, so you can go wherever you want to be, even if it's by the Crown Prince's side."
"...."
"I like you, Skyla."
A tear drops the back of Lancer's hand.
"I really like you, so I'm okay with whatever you choose to do, as long as it makes you happy. That's why… you can go out with the Crown Prince without me next to you."
Lancer's head still hung low.
"...."
I stare at Lancer for a moment, then slowly rise from my seat and step in front of him.
"Lancer."
"...Yes, Skyla."
He doesn't lift his head. It's as though he's trying to hide his face from me. Like he would never let me see the expression he has right now.
Facing him, I ask impatiently. "Are you a puppy?"
"...What?”
"Lancer, you're like a puppy today. Because why do you keep talking bullshit?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"No, honestly, I mean, why do you keep making stuff up to yourself? Did I ever say I didn't like you?"
I squeeze his shoulders.
"I like you, too, Lancer!"
Somehow, uncontrollable emotions burst out of me.
"I've been liking you all this time, and now you've told me for the first time that you really like me! And I'm so happy!"
"Why— Why are you suddenly angry?"
A look of bewilderment crossed Lancer's face as he finally raised his head.
